Face in the Crowd
by Rose Priestess
Summary: Yet *another* short, pointless narrative--only this time from the viewpoint of Shinohara Wakaba during the Black Rose Arc.


"Face in the Crowd"  
by Rose Priestess  
  
Obligatory Disclaimer: The characters of "Shoujo Kakumei Utena" belong to Saito Chiho, Be-Pa-Pas, etc. The lyrics are from "Home Now" by No Doubt.  
  
Special.  
A seven letter, two syllable word that says so little, yet means so much.  
Everyone has his or her moment in the sun or fifteen minutes of fame. There was even a time when I flirted with the possibility of being special. But it…wasn't me.  
  
I'm hanging out with me  
And you're a vacant chair  
A chosen compromise  
This space we rarely share  
  
Although I was crushed when Saionji-san posted my love letter to him up on the kendo club bulletin board, I still allowed him to take refuge in my dorm room when he was expelled. Surprisingly enough, he was the one who came to me, pleading, with tears brimming in his beady violet eyes. Heh, if only his legions of adoring female fans could see the big, tough Vice President of the Student Council begging on his knees to a mere underclassmen like me.  
His reasons being, he claimed, that he wanted to be close to the school as to keep abreast of the business of the Student Council. Or rather just one member of said council, Himemiya Anshi. Now, I may come off as a bit ditzy sometimes, but I'm not stupid. I well knew that he loved her, but as long as he never spoke the fact, I could delude myself into thinking I was the only girl in his thoughts. Naturally, when her name popped up in everyday conversation or he asked me how she was doing from time to time, it silently killed me inside.  
  
And if you lived here, you'd be home now  
  
So what you givin' up for me?  
And what shall I give up for you?  
Endless expectations passing by  
  
Himemiya-san was one of those ones, the people who are inherently special from birth. The people who never let you forget that they are unique, that they are distinct, and you are not.   
  
If you lived here, you'd be home now  
If you lived here, you'd be home now  
  
I can swallow my pride and say that, yes, part of my jealousy stemmed from the fact that I was not and could never be special like her. That's why she had him, you know. They were both of that elite Student Council, royally set apart from the general populace.   
  
And to make it real  
I need to have you here  
I need to have you  
I need to hold you  
  
So, why did I do it, you ask? Well, love is a funny thing. However cruel, as long as you're with the only one you love, you will be happy. And Saionji-san was right. Love once again had claimed me and I couldn't refuse his request for shelter. For once, I felt as if somebody needed me. I was important.  
  
Barren wasted heart  
Neglect of normalcy  
  
And if you lived here, you'd be home now  
Oh, if you lived here, you'd be home now  
  
And I slowly became happier, as well. As soon as my last class ended, my feet hit the pavement at a runner's pace as I raced back to dorm room for I indeed had something fun waiting for me there. Something special.  
  
And to make it real  
I need to have you here  
I need to have you  
It can't be sincere  
Unless you spend time here  
I need to see you…  
  
I honestly thought that keeping him here with me would make me special, too, and that perhaps he would finally see this newfound "special-ness" in me. I smiled more and I was the most outgoing I'd ever been. There was a sort of glow that I radiated…the kind you only give off when you're in love. A lot of other people noticed it, including my Utena-sama…why couldn't he? Ah, but it was a selfish desire, really. I suppose I just wanted him to know that I would always be there waiting for him even when Himemiya-san wouldn't.  
  
Supervision is what I need  
Some consistence, tangibility  
Some casual light days  
Part of the furniture  
I want to take you for granted  
And see you regular  
  
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. He left rather abruptly that late afternoon. I must have dozed off for a nap because all his belongings were gone when I awoke. It seemed like the room had remained a single the entire time.  
  
So what you givin' up for me?  
And what shall I give up for you?  
The separations tired, it's been too long  
  
Saionji-san had originally made me a lovely leaf hairpin in exchange for me letting him stay there. I was so worried when I thought I'd lost it…but I found it earlier that day twinkling mockingly on Himemiya Anshi's head. It was a small revelation; a gleaming gold sun lost in an amethyst tangle of hair.  
  
And to make it real  
I need to have you here  
I need to have you  
It can't be sincere  
Unless you spend time here  
I want to take you for granted  
And see you regular  
  
But even after all this, would I still go out of my way for him if he asked? Quite simply, yes. Until you return to me, I'll continue to gaze out my window, quietly hoping to see you walk over that hill and into my arms.  
Yes, I'll always be waiting for you to get back.  
  
Come home now  
  
I'm home.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first ever songfic and I think it turned out rather well considering I'm just finishing this up at midnight right now -_-; The lyrics also fit appropriately if you keep in mind Wakaba's living situation during the Black Rose Arc. Speaking of which, this is also my first Wakaba fic. I actually had more trouble writing this narrative than I did with my Keiko fic even though I had a LOT less material to work with on that one. Anyway, comments, flames, and MSTs are always accepted with much enthusiasm!  
  
e-mail: sstarhealer@hotmail.com 


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